Angie and I were just asked to respond to the following questions as part of a feature article on Lead Star.  Thought I’d share our thoughts with you, they are the heart of our leadership message:

What are the key differences between being a leader and being a manager?

A simple way to remember the key differences between being a leader and being a manager is to look at it like this:  you manage things, you lead people.  Management is about staying on top of budgets, projects, resources, data and deliverables.  Leadership is all about people.  A leader is someone who can influence outcomes and inspire others effectively.  Both skills sets are important to build.  In our professional culture management skills are more common than leadership skills. 

What are key leadership traits?

The best leaders focus on meeting and exceeding performance standards, being accountable by owning problems and their mistakes. They also are focused on serving others and can act decisively when needed.  In addition to demonstrating these fundamentals well, the most trusted leaders are those that have the courage to be authentic and know how to keep their emotions in check so that their behavior is inspiring, not alienating.

Does every manager need to be a leader?

The most successful managers are also leaders.  Have you ever had the experience of working for a bad boss?  The reason why you had that tough experience is because you worked with someone who had authority, they were a manager, but they had limited leadership ability.  The best bosses, and the most influential colleagues we’ve had, are memorable because they demonstrated leadership on a regular basis.  The consistent, simple gestures of leadership make such a difference to those we know at work and in life.

Can anyone become a leader?

Leaders are made, they are not born.  Leadership is a choice.  If you choose to become a stronger leader then you can.  Our society often ties the term “leadership” to power, prestige, notoriety or a fancy job title.  These notions of leadership are false.   Management titles are bestowed upon you.  Leadership development is a path you must choose to pursue.  You don’t need a power position to achieve success as a leader.  Some of the best leaders we’ve known were the credible individual contributors on teams–those who understood that high performance, service to others, accountability and decisiveness are qualities that earn you respect.  By studying leadership practices you can improve your ability to influence outcomes and inspire others–the two capabilities leaders excel at.

What do we call people who make mistakes and are accountable for them?

For many of us, we call them heroes who continuously earn our praise.

I love that Jim Joyce, the umpire who is now nationally known as the man whose bad call kept a young Detroit Tiger pitcher from earning a perfect game, was named the best umpire in the league in an exclusive poll taken in the past week.   (http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2010/06/jim-joyce-voted-mlbs-best-umpire-in-espn-poll/1)

To me, this proves that at the end of the day, our society values accountable leaders who do not hide from scrutiny, but rather are upfront and honest in their shortcomings.

Jim Joyce’s story isn’t a sport’s story.  It’s a leadership story.  Accountability is so rare in our society it’s amazing how when we see it – on small or grand levels – we applaud and celebrate it.  So why then, if accountability is so valuable, do people tend to hide from it?  Here are my thoughts – I’d love to hear yours:

• No one likes being wrong
• We expect perfection from ourselves (though no human being is perfect …)
• We are afraid of the outcome if we admit our failures or mistakes
• We don’t want to upset expectations
• No one likes their judgment questioned
• We have egos … precious, fragile egos
• Deflection and blame can take the attention away from ourselves

Most of these reasons, or rather “excuses,” have to do with our own insecurities, fears, and lack of confidence in ourselves.  It takes a pretty amazing leader to look beyond their insecurities to do what is right (not what might feel good in the moment).

We all can practice accountability daily, and in turn channel and project our inner Jim Joyce.  We have to start by acknowledging that we’re not always right and if there is a problem, and we’re close enough to it to know about it, then we probably had something to do with it.  Also, try repeating a mantra I learned in the Marine Corps … it’s humbling and grounding: I am responsible for all that I do and all that I fail to do.  When you don’t hide from your mistakes and instead acknowledge them, you are able to make great growth as a leader and earn the respect and trust of those around you.

I witnessed an extraordinary event a few weeks ago.  Although at the time, I did not realize that it was extraordinary at all.  And the event wasn’t extraordinary because if it’s grand nature.  It was extraordinary because of the grand impact that came from the simplest of gestures.

My daughter attends a preschool that is affiliated with a local college.  One of the things that I like best about my daughters’ pre-school program is that it actively employs undergrad students to help out in the classrooms throughout the day.  The college students are always energetic and enthusiastic and my daughter truly loves each and every one of them.

So, a few weeks ago as I was picking my daughter up from school, I stopped on the playground to talk to the school’s director.  As is always the case at the end of the day, I had arrived at the same time as several of the other parents.  While we were talking, both the director and I witnessed another parent approach one of the young female college students and hand her a card that was obviously hand-made by this parent’s pre-school child.  As the card was passed, the parent told the student, “You know, my daughter just thinks the world of you and hopes that you will be in her classroom in the fall.”  At the time, I thought little about the encounter other than the fact that it was a nice thing to say.

This morning however, as I dropped my daughter off at preschool, I had the opportunity to have a brief conversation with the same young college student.  As we discussed her plans for the summer, she told me that she had just enrolled in summer classes because she had decided to change her major to early-elementary education and needed some additional credits.  I asked what had influenced her decision and among a few other reasons, she pulled out the same handmade card from her backpack and showed it to me.  It read, “You are going to be a really great teacher.  Thank you for playing with me this year.”

I know that the card was not the sole impetus in this young lady’s decision-making process.  However, the little card had a great impact on the student.  In my opinion, what the card did was help this young college student to define the WHY of her future career selection.  And that means everything.

Out of gratitude comes greatness!

Do you find that you are constantly running five minutes late for appointments?  Even if you strive not to over-schedule, you can still fall into the “I can get one more thing done” trap.  Have you ever tried to check your e-mail one last time before running out the door only to get caught up in a response that takes longer to draft than planned?

That one extra task, whatever it may be, can throw off your whole schedule!  Whatever that one thing is, it is not as important as being on time!  Five minutes may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but being even a few minutes late to a scheduled appointment shows others that you disrespect their time.

The next time you find yourself looking at the clock trying to determine if you can complete one more task in the minutes that remain, decide instead to head immediately to your appointment.   If you arrive early, all the better!  Use that time to mentally prepare yourself for the task at hand.  By doing this, you will find that you are more present, less stressed and perform at a higher level than you would have otherwise.

My husband recently threw me a copy of the Marine Corps Gazette, saying, “I tabbed an article that you would find interesting.”  It was an article written by a Marine who served for General Victor Krulak titled “Rubrics for Officer Dissent.”  The author, Lieutenant Colonel Bryan (ret), wrote about working for Gen Krulak and how he used to take notes about his boss’s perspectives and insights.  The insights the author went on to publish were geared toward how to disagree with your leadership team – I thought that I would share a few of those bullets, as they are so relevant to many of us who may disagree with workplace policies/procedures and decisions (but aren’t certain how to go about addressing them):

• Before offering a revolutionary idea, or disagreeing on any matter, know exactly what you want.  Then be certain that what you say is factual and devoid of emotion and rhetoric.
• Express your innovative ideas – and ensure that your dissent must be accompanied by an alternative.  Present your alternative in full and persuasive detail. 
• If you are able to swallow whole your disappointment to carry out a decision with which you do not agree, well and good.  Do it. 
• If you’re unable to countenance the decision as made, do not denigrate it.  Do not withhold your best effort to make it work.  Quit – just quit.  Take your frustrations elsewhere.
• As a leader, make sure that you clear a path for ideas – and that the road to the top is wide open for ideas.

Love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on how to successfully disagree at work …