Are you looking to increase your level of influence in your environment?  Improve your confidence.

Confidence is a trait others are inspired by – especially during times of challenge, chaos and uncertainty.  For most individuals however, confidence seems to wane during the times when it is needed the most.

In order to ensure that your confidence level remains steady in the face of challenge, you must continually work to cultivate it.  Here are three things you can do to increase your confidence level:

• Acknowledge Your Capabilities. When you do something well, do you tell yourself (and others) that it is no big deal or do you acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments?  When you know what your strengths are and you are able to rely on them regularly, your confidence will grow.
• Be Your Best Champion. Your inner dialog significantly impacts your confidence level.  So, in the face of challenge do you tell yourself that you can do anything if you put your mind to it and work hard, or do you tell yourself that you will be lucky to come out on the other side?  If you are your best champion during times of challenge, you will build your confidence, persevere and achieve the success you seek.
• Stop Worrying. Worrying kills confidence.  If you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about the worst possible outcome, challenge yourself instead to focus and think more positively.  When appropriate, identify action steps – things that you can actually do – to ensure that you are not paralyzed by worry.

Continue to cultivate your confidence and you will be amazed at the results!

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
- William Ward

Think about the daily contributions that others’ make to your success:

• Your spouse packs the kids’ lunch and gets them to the bus stop so that you can prepare for a meeting.
• A team member does a great job on his part of a project and makes your job easier.
• A friend provides advice on how to handle a conflict with a co-worker.

Our individual successes greatly depend upon the efforts of others.  When was the last time you said “Thank You?”

I have been thinking about this a lot over the last several days.  You see, work has kept me very busy this fall.  So much so, that my husband has taken over more responsibilities around the house.  I am grateful that he has started taking my daughter to school a few mornings per week and that the dishes are not piling up in the sink.  However, until a few days ago, I apparently had not expressed my gratitude.

It took a confrontation over the question of who last emptied the dishwasher to make me realize that although I am exceedingly appreciative of all of my husband’s efforts to make my life a bit easier during this busy fall, my silence was sending a completely different message.

While my husband acknowledges that no one is going to throw a party simply because he took out the garbage, he is entitled to know that his efforts have not gone unnoticed.

A simple “Thank You” can show others that you acknowledge and appreciate their contributions.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you received a promotion at work, earned an advanced degree, ran a marathon or owned your own business?

Stop wondering and take action.  With a bit of courage, dreams can become goals.

The first step – making the commitment – can be scary.  But take your fears and break them into small action steps that can move you closer to what you would like to achieve.

So take that initial step now.

• If there is a position at work that you want, have a conversation with your boss.  Let your boss know what your career goals are and ask him to provide insight on what you need to do in order to successfully realize that promotion.
• If you have always dreamed about going to graduate school, start gathering brochures and making financial plans.  Then pick a target entrance date.
• If you want to run a marathon, consult others who have done so and create a training regimen.  Find out how long it will take to train and then enter a marathon that falls within that time frame.
• If owning your own business is a life-long dream, start drafting a business plan today.  Meet with others who run businesses similar to the one you want to start and learn as much as you can from them.  Then start to make your financial arrangements.

You are the only person who can make your dreams come true.  Don’t sit passively dreaming about your future.  Instead, have the courage to take action today.  If you can dream it, you can do it!

As Serena Williams’ tirade at the US Open is playing over and over again on newscasts all over the world, it is easy to see how one volatile outburst can completely demolish a well-built reputation.  While Ms. Williams’ behavior is an extreme example, it provides a good reminder that it can take mere seconds to damage the creditability that you have been building over a lifetime.

Every human experiences a range of emotions on a daily basis.  However, it is important that you learn to successfully harness your emotions when you are in a professional environment.  When you are seeking to lead others it is of paramount importance that they trust you and see you as a role model.  Flying off the handle at bad news or negatively reacting to stressful situations with tears or anger communicates to others that you are not in control and that you cannot be counted on when times get tough.

The next time that you feel your emotions start to rise, think before your react.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself the following questions:

• Why am I so upset? What is it about the situation at hand that has your emotions flaring?  Are you disappointed in an under-performing colleague?  Have you been blindsided by news you didn’t expect?  Or, are you actually upset by other components of your life and this situation is merely the tipping point?  You must understand the reasons behind your emotions before you respond.
• What can I do to calm myself down before I respond? Some emotions can be controlled merely by taking a deep, calming breath. However, most situations do not require an immediate response.  When you have the opportunity, take some additional steps such as removing yourself from the immediate situation and taking a long walk or retreating to your office to write out a calm, well-thought-out response prior to engaging.
• Does the situation require any response? Sometimes the best response is no response at all.  Have you just been insulted?  Walking away is preferable to throwing a quick barb back.
• If I react emotionally, what will be the consequences of my behavior? Before you start to spew emotion, think about how much damage you could do if you don’t restrain yourself.  Then let that knowledge motivate you to harness your negative emotions.

Learn to control your emotions so that they do not control you.  Don’t allow one angry outburst or misplaced tears to tarnish the professional reputation that you have worked so hard to build.

“She’s driving me crazy …” That’s the way the rant always begins.  And you can be sure that for the next 15 minutes or so, you are going to hear a litany of the social faux pas her office mate has recently committed.

We all have pet peeves – those little acts that make us cringe when committed by a co-worker or colleague.  Some of these behaviors we are able to live with and some truly drive us to the edge.  Some of these behaviors are personal annoyances while others are completely socially unacceptable.  Here are just a few that I have heard individuals complain about over the last several years:

• The co-worker in the cubicle next door who constantly engages in loud personal cell phone calls during work hours.
• The colleague who continually “forgets” to make the next pot of coffee after pouring the last drop into his own cup.
• The individual who routinely clips his toenails at work (I’ve actually seen this one in action).
• The co-worker who constantly drops by to chat about his or her latest personal drama/ baby’s bathroom habits/ new cell phone applications.
• The person who always leaves her faxes on the machine until someone else picks them up and delivers them to her.
• The colleague who’s cell phone plays the Hollaback song at the loudest possible setting every time it rings.  And it rings approximately 120 times per day.

Whether you have personally experienced one or more of these examples or something equally as annoying, the question comes up time and time again: How do you handle these situations?  Do you say something or do you try your best to ignore the annoying behavior?

While confrontation might not be your forte, simply ignoring a problem will never make it disappear.  Take a step back and ask yourself this: “Is my colleague’s annoying behavior affecting others?”  Perhaps it is impeding your ability to complete your work.  Maybe that is also the case for others in your office.  Likely, it is affecting the way you and your co-workers view and deal with the offender.

It is always better to tactfully but directly confront the issue.  It is likely that your co-worker isn’t even aware that his behavior is annoying others.  When you bring the behavior to his attention, you not only curb future occurrences, but you provide him insight as to how he can improve his relationships with his colleagues.