“Trust is the glue that holds everyone together and the lubricant that keeps everyone moving forward.”
- General Colin Powell

One volatile outburst can completely demolish a well-built reputation and can erase any trust that your colleagues and coworkers have in you and your ability to lead – especially during times of challenge and change.  It can literally take mere seconds to eliminate the trust that you have been earning from others over a lifetime.

Every human experiences a range of emotions on a daily basis.  However, it is important that you learn to successfully harness your emotions when you are in a professional environment.  When you are seeking to lead others it is of paramount importance that they trust you and see you as a role model.  Flying off the handle at bad news or negatively reacting to stressful situations with tears or anger communicates to others that you are not in control and that you cannot be counted on when times get tough.

The next time that you feel your emotions start to rise, think before your react.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself the following questions:

• Why am I so upset? What is it about the situation at hand that has your emotions flaring?  Are you disappointed in an underperforming colleague?  Have you been blindsided by news you didn’t expect?  Or, are you actually upset by other components of your life and this situation is merely the tipping point?  You must understand the reasons behind your emotions before you respond.

• What can I do to calm myself down before I respond? Some emotions can be controlled merely by taking a deep, calming breath. However, most situations do not require an immediate response.  When you have the opportunity, take some additional steps such as removing yourself from the immediate situation and taking a long walk or retreating to your office to write out a calm, well-thought-out response prior to engaging.

• Does the situation require any response? Sometimes the best response is no response at all.  Have you just been insulted?  Walking away is preferable to throwing a quick barb back.

• If I react emotionally, what will be the consequences of my behavior? Before you start to spew emotion, think about how much damage you could do if you don’t restrain yourself.  Then let that knowledge motivate you to harness your negative emotions.

Learn to control your emotions so that they do not control you.  Don’t allow one angry outburst or misplaced tears to diminish the trust that others have in you and tarnish the professional reputation that you have worked so hard to build.

You Don’t Get to Pick and Choose the Standards You Uphold

Every organization has standards – those requirements that all employees are supposed to follow.   Whether your organization has a code of conduct, a dress code, or a series of ethical standards tied to your individual profession, as a leader it is your obligation to uphold each and every organizational standard.   Leaders do not get to pick and choose the standards they abide by.   Even if you believe that the dress code requiring women to wear stockings or men to wear a jacket and tie during work hours is out of date, until the standard is changed it is your duty to follow it and hold others accountable.   If the work day starts at 8:30 am, you cannot inspire others by walking off of the elevator, Starbucks in hand, at 8:40.   Leadership is about consistency.

Leaders enforce all standards whether they personally like them or not.   And if there is a standard that is so outrageous that you find yourself questioning your ability to consistently follow it then it is your obligation to take action for change – not simply complain about or worse yet, ignore it.   Be fanatical about meeting standards and your ability to influence outcomes and inspire others will skyrocket.

Do you have organizational standards that you find are hard to uphold consistently?  We would love to hear about them here or join in on the discussion on our Facebook page.

When you feel completely overwhelmed by your life, like you are just barely keeping up, it is time to reexamine your priorities.  We all lead busy lives.  However, when your life starts to feel as if it is more than you can handle, its time to step back and take a hard look at all of your commitments.  Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your top three priorities?
• What activities are you currently engaged in that further those priorities?
• Which activities do not?
• Do you currently have any white space planned into each week?
• What two activities can you eliminate or delegate in order to create some (or some more) white space?

Leaders lead lives of significance because they align their activities with their top priorities.  Narrow your priorities and pick your top three.  Then make sure that you are spending your precious time only on those activities that matter most.  Finally, plan white space into each week for some much needed rest, relaxation, rejuvenation and to address those pesky “emergencies” that tend to derail your over-scheduled life.

My husband recently threw me a copy of the Marine Corps Gazette, saying, “I tabbed an article that you would find interesting.”  It was an article written by a Marine who served for General Victor Krulak titled “Rubrics for Officer Dissent.”  The author, Lieutenant Colonel Bryan (ret), wrote about working for Gen Krulak and how he used to take notes about his boss’s perspectives and insights.  The insights the author went on to publish were geared toward how to disagree with your leadership team – I thought that I would share a few of those bullets, as they are so relevant to many of us who may disagree with workplace policies/procedures and decisions (but aren’t certain how to go about addressing them):

• Before offering a revolutionary idea, or disagreeing on any matter, know exactly what you want.  Then be certain that what you say is factual and devoid of emotion and rhetoric.
• Express your innovative ideas – and ensure that your dissent must be accompanied by an alternative.  Present your alternative in full and persuasive detail. 
• If you are able to swallow whole your disappointment to carry out a decision with which you do not agree, well and good.  Do it. 
• If you’re unable to countenance the decision as made, do not denigrate it.  Do not withhold your best effort to make it work.  Quit – just quit.  Take your frustrations elsewhere.
• As a leader, make sure that you clear a path for ideas – and that the road to the top is wide open for ideas.

Love to hear your thoughts and perspectives on how to successfully disagree at work …

Be honest, when you woke up this morning – before you even opened up your eyes – what thoughts went through your head?   Were you thinking about all of the exciting things that you have planned this week as you sprung out of bed to tackle the day?  Or were you thinking about all of the things that you didn’t want to do today as you rolled over to hit the snooze button.

Monday mornings can be difficult.  The return to work after a busy, fun-filled weekend can sometimes seem like a let down.  Here is a great tip that can immediately brighten your attitude on Monday mornings:

Plan a feel-good event into every day. What makes you feel your best?  Do you get a high from a good morning run?   Are you happiest when you are surrounded by the company of good friends?  Do you recharge your energy by being creative or reading a good book?

Everyone has activities, interests and relationships that make them feel good about themselves.  These must be cultivated on a regular basis.  To be your best, you must feel your best.  Whether it is a competitive tennis match, coffee with a colleague or a creative writing class, make sure that you have a feel good event planned into each and every day.  Then brighten your attitude and feel great on Monday morning by thinking about all of the things you have to look forward to this week.