If we asked you to list your strengths and your weaknesses, you could probably come up with a laundry list of tasks that you excel at and those in which you need improvement. For example, you might list writing as a strength and time management as a weakness.
But what if, instead, you were asked to list the qualities that make you uniquely you? It’s a bit more difficult, right?
And yet those qualities – the ones that make up who you are as an individual – are your greatest strengths. Therefore, it is important to take the time to list and reflect upon the qualities that form the basis of you. Are you kind, caring, adventurous, diligent, intuitive? What are your core assets that truly define you?
Leaders know exactly what their unique qualities are and allow these qualities to form their leadership style. Let your greatest strengths guide you to be the strongest leader you can be.
If we asked you to list your strengths and your weaknesses, you could probably come up with a laundry list of tasks that you excel at and those in which you need improvement. For example, you might list writing as a strength and time management as a weakness.
But what if, instead, you were asked to list the qualities that make you uniquely you? It’s a bit more difficult, right?
And yet those qualities – the ones that make up who you are as an individual – are your greatest strengths. Therefore, it is important to take the time to list and reflect upon the qualities that form the basis of you. Are you kind, caring, adventurous, diligent, intuitive? What are your core assets that truly define you?
Leaders know exactly what their unique qualities are and allow these qualities to form their leadership style. Let your greatest strengths guide you to be the strongest leader you can be.
A key quality the strongest leaders exhibit fanatically is accountability. The best leaders (and the most successful people I know) do not make excuses for ANYTHING. When something goes wrong in their lives, they don’t waste time placing blame or pointing fingers. Instead, they reflect on how they might have handled a situation better, but then they move forward to the present and future– focusing most on how they will resolve the problem.
The key to embracing accountability is to look at the results you are achieving in any category of your life. From your fitness level, to your finances, to your professional career, to your family. What aspects of life are you not happy with? Chances are, those are the areas of your life where you need to sharpen your sword of accountability. It’s not your spouse’s fault you are 20 pounds overweight. It’s not your boss’s fault you didn’t get the promotion you want, it’s not the credit card company’s fault you hit the ceiling on your credit limit. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of these things have nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with YOU.
Own your problems, it’s the first step to solving them. As I reflect on the leaders I respect, I marvel at how they all have amazingly positive attitudes. It’s as if their lives are simple and simply enjoyable. Why is this? I’ve asked and their answers are similar: I am in control of my actions. Yes, bad things will happen- I don’t control fate or circumstances, but I do control my ability to see the facts for what they are and my ability to work to resolve issues so I can make my reality what I want it to be.
This summer, experience a season of intention. Take a look at your life, assess where you are disappointed and then get working on changing the behaviors that have led to the frustration you feel. That’s personal leadership: taking actions to influence outcomes.
This past weekend I had the opportunity to step out of my life and step into my sister’s life. I have a much younger sister, she’s 21 and a senior in college. When she started at the University of Alabama I promised her that I would come down for a weekend and attend a football game at her school. Well, graduation is next May and football season ends soon, so this weekend I found myself making the trek to Tuscaloosa.
My day to day life is business, my daughters, my husband and friends. My weekend was none of that and all college living. My adventure began with her house. She shares a cute house on a lake with three other girls. At least that’s what I knew before I go there. And, it was turned out to be true when I arrived. But, cute house and clean don’t always go hand in hand! Her roommates were nice and fun to hang out with. Yet, at 3am I really don’t want to be hanging out with anyone.
The University of Alabama’s football team is ranked #1 in the country. The football game was great fun, until I got cold. (Yes, it was about 35 degrees in Alabama.) So, I left the game at about the 3rd Quarter and walked across the street to one of the dorms to catch the rest of the football action indoors. (Having felt old all weekend, I felt completely geriatric leaving the game early.) This turned out to be a great choice. Inside the dorm I found a group of freshman who were enjoying the game in the common living space of the dorm (which had a beautiful flat screen TV.) These kids were authentic, fun and happy to be warm and indoors a block from the stadium. By the time we celebrated the Alabama victory I felt like I knew everyone in the room!
It’s an interesting experience to step completely out of your life and into someone else’s for a weekend. I realized it didn’t feel quite right and that’s because it’s not quite possible to completely immerse yourself in something that isn’t you. But, I relied on some great leadership lessons to survive and enjoy my time travels back to college life. One, I just took it all in. I listened instead of talking, I sought to understand instead of being understood as Covey would say. I tried to serve where I could make an impact (buying my sister a load of groceries and putting gas in her car) and I had tremendous emotional resolve when the house was still wide awake at 3am– after all, I was accountable to my choice to put myself right in the mix by having a college weekend at age 34.
Overall, I am glad I went. I love my sister and it’s a joy to see her having a great time at school and enjoying the last months of her senior year. Yet, I learned some lessons about the best choices to make in the future. How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Next time I head to Tuscaloosa it will be in May for Stephanie’s graduation. I’ll be bringing my family, booking a hotel room and cheering for her from the sidelines. This leader’s college days are long gone, and that’s a perfectly good thing. Thank you Stephanie for hosting me this weekend and for letting me realize that I am perfectly content with who I am and where I am in life. Plus, I am pretty proud of you and your life. I am honored you allowed me to experience yours for a weekend!
I was really looking forward to the weekend last week. Angie and I have been on the road a fair bit this past month and have a full schedule of travel in front of us. My weekend was going to be what weekends are supposed to be: fun, frivolous and full of family time. It didn’t disappoint. Yet, it’s funny how my love of all things related to leadership stays with me even during my off time.
This past Saturday I spent much of the morning with my daughters at the park. We went to a park we don’t normally visit. The girls enjoyed new playmates and I had a good time talking with a new group of parents. One lady in particular stood out. It wasn’t what she was wearing (cut offs and a t-shirt) it wasn’t what she did for a living (Washington, DC area parents are competitive and occupations seemed to be dropped into conversations early on) it wasn’t anything to do with her child (who was a beautiful little 2 1/2 year old girl) it was completely because of how authentic she was.
We connected when I first arrived and talked for about an hour. During that time I had pretty deep conversations with a person I had met by chance at the park. I left feeling refreshed and inspired because I had spent time talking and laughing with a woman who really understood the significance of life. We chatted casually at first about life in the Washington, DC area. Then, she candidly spoke about how the cost of living made things challenging for her and her husband. She spoke proudly about her small apartment and how she and her husband had cut back to one car to save money. She told me how the bus was only $1.00 each way and quite a deal when she wanted to go shopping or on an outing with her daughter. She talked about what her values were and how she was doing everything she could to enjoy life here in this expensive town, while still hoping to move to a smaller city in the future.
Throughout this entire conversation she weaved in jokes, joy and compassion. She also interacted with my children (who were playing with her daughter) in a way that was such a delight to them and me. It was an honor to spend time with someone who is so comfortable in her skin, so proud of where she is in life and so hopeful about the future. I’d like to say that I am all of these things as well, but I am not sure I exude fulfillment as well as this woman did. I work to be authentic and live life leading as I am. Spending time with a woman who has mastered the art of authenticity was so inspiring. Thanks Diane, it was great to meet you!
