So my last fight with my husband started like this … I was in a bad mood when he got home from work. Why? Well, my toddler, Sophia, had woken up on the wrong side of her crib. Getting her off to her half-day pre-school had been trying: She didn’t want to get dressed, she didn’t want to eat breakfast and she certainly didn’t want to sit in her car seat during the ten minute drive. I had a very busy day at work: projects due, conference calls planned … And to top it off Sophia didn’t nap, which also made the afternoon trying: me attempting to get my work done while also fitting in my “mom duties” of playing Ring Around the Rosy for the seventeenth time. I had used up all of my patience by six o’clock.
My husband, Steven, walked into the house, still on his cell phone, chatting away as if without a care in the world. He waved to us and then proceeded upstairs, still on his phone, to change out of his suit. I was annoyed. After he changed, he returned back downstairs – still on the phone. I was more annoyed. Ten minutes later, he finished his conversation, came into the kitchen where I was attempting to feed Sophia a quick dinner before we had to go upstairs for her bath and early bedtime, and asked what I wanted for dinner. I go nuclear!
The tirade that followed started something like this, “You never make any decisions about dinner. I am always the one to have to decide what we eat. You’re home late. You’re the one that can’t get off of the phone to help me. We can’t eat anyway until Sophia is in bed. I have to get her ready for bed now. You figure it out. I am sick and tired of this …” He replied (somewhat reasonably, I now realize), “Alison, what’s your problem?” At this point in my emotional level, this phrased signaled all out war.
Now, with distance and a little perspective, this has become a funny anecdote. It seems ridiculous to me that the previous words actually came out of my mouth. Of course, I was not actually angry with Steven and I certainly wasn’t angry about dinner. In fact, I wasn’t really angry about anything. My problem – I was overwhelmed by the day, frustrated by the things that I could not control and most importantly – exhausted.
Think before you act – especially before you overreact! What I needed, at the end of that trying day, was a glass of wine, some calorie laden take-out and a night filled with mindless television – not a fight with my spouse. Had I stopped, even for a second, to give myself time to realize that, I could have avoided the whole ugly scenario. In the end, thanks to the rational nature of my loving husband and after he had tucked my daughter safely into bed, I finally got what I needed – including ice cream.
